I wasted so much time running for mayor of Circuit City.
Congressional hearings successful in producing SNL sound bites. President Mean tweets Congress is doing it on purpose.
If you are like me, you just can't pray in any church that costs less than $10,000,000.00. It's just against my religion. MY Lord wants my minister to be a millionaire and one cannot question this. It is written (nowhere).
The world is waiting to see if Trump dances with Caitlin Jenner at inaugural ball.
Nobel declares Trump the historic all time "Self Congratulatory" Champion of Mankind stating no one in the history of the world congratulates himself more.
Bragging. Oh good. Now I feel better, Trump changed it to "Greater than ever before." Pretty sure we can all quit our jobs noon tomorrow. Porsche dealership overwhelmed with new orders.
Trump to replace our music with military marching band music. Celebrate our free country by getting "patriotic" or go to jail!!!
Thank goodness for inauguration. I'm so sick of Obama making me attend a Mosque in Kenya. (It's my own stupid fault, my brother warned me.)
Breaking News! Trump Defeats ISIS!!!.....well sort of. ISIS just announced it will disband as soon as Trump is sworn in tomorrow. ISIS figures its mission is complete as we have defeated ourselves. At least ONE of Trump's ridiculous promises had to come true as he promised so very many improbable things to Americans...
America excited about our historic 45th President and very first Despot. Come celebrate the end of Freedom of the Press if not Democracy itself. ISIS considering disbanding as we have defeated ourself.
Here is why you really shouldn't waste my time: I'm 72! How much time you reckon I have left?
President Mean vows 4 years of attacking popular television shows and personalities he doesn't like. Great! THAT'S what this country has long needed to be great once again. Finally on the road to class and dignity brought to us via morning Tweets! His library will truly be golden. He's already commissioned artists to construct a 20 foot statue of him at the entrance depicting him grabbing someone.
America IS going to have to decide who is fake. So far its money is on the founder of Trump University.